Now What?

I feel hopeless. Utterly alone and smiling to lift myself from the coming depression. Is it my period or is it just a feeling of stagnation garnered from days of inescapable duties and automation? My alone lights are my son and husband. They should encompass my whole world no? Then why do I sense a gnawing feeling of incompleteness eating away at me? I am capable of so much, yet I am stuck in mediocrity at work roaming aimlessly for my true life's purpose. Where do I go from here? Now what?

I did it baby! We got the house!!!

To all my beautiful readers whom i have neglected with updates of my life, my husband and I were able to purchase a home. We are ecstatic to say the least. It is a small cozy home on a double corner lot in Hialeah. It boasts a renovated kitchen and bathroom (one!)We were able to get an above ground pool and a patio that is half concrete. It's home period. Over time, my hubby and I will get it just right. We are praying for a joyful holiday season in our house. There is plenty of room for everyone. Time to get to work on it! Thanks for reading.

The Natives Are Restless

It's been six months since I began the oddessy of buying a home after the real estate apocalypse that happened. Six long months of running to stand still. I have put so many things on hold until after we buy that I personally do not care anymore. No more "no" only "yes" to any incredible opportunity that presents itself. "YES!" IS THE ANSWER TO LIFE. No more conditions, just action. Yes!!!!!!!!!! That is all for today.

Premonitions

For some reason i have become obsessed with the date September 9, 2010. Something wonderful is going to happen that day, something big. I put down on my kitchen calander that that was "The Day." I cannot tell you exactly what that will be, what kind of day, only that that day will change my life forever. I have decided to write down all these weird feelings I get into a journel of premonitions. Today, for instance, I became extremely depressed and agitated. I had no reson to be, but I was. Was I just vibing off of people or did I have an unresolved issue torturing my subconscious, or was I just PMSing? Whatever it was, it sucked and I worked hard to change my mood.
I have been struggling for some time now on what course of action to take with my profesional life. Right now, i will be pursuing a degree in HR and finishing my book ideas. Ideally, I'd make money off of my books and live on easy street like that. What do you think? Holla. :P


Update: The day of September 9, 2010 was the day I OFFICIALLY GOT THE GREEN LIGHT ON MY MORTGAGE FOR MY CURRENT HOME. It was a go after that. We closed on the house on September 22, 2010. One of my best days EVER.

New Moon Blues

Just call me a Catholic witch. I pray the rosary as much as I can, pray everyday at least one Hail Mary and an Our Father. Try to be a better person than I was yesterday and look to a brighter future. There are two times a month though that I feel out of whack, the new moon and the full moon.
Ask any cop and they"ll tell you they get the craziest calls on the full moon. They brace for it. I get all the extra magnetic pool makes us all a little crazy. The full moon makes me think of love, old and new. It makes me nostalgic.
The new moon just depresses me. I get super emotional and doubtful about everything. I feel like crying now and it won't be here for another three days! WTF!
Anyway, I had to vent.
Goodnight Hialeah.

What the F.

Hello my people, whoever you may be. I am an aging Hialeah Girl who has seen the light. I have been a party girl, nerd, almost soldier and now a proud parent to Zeon. I am also human. From everything I have read about spiritual development, I have gotten one constant impression. You either go forward, or you go backwards, there is no such thing as stagnation when it comes to spirit. I pray everyday. Even if it is a simple but powerful Hail Mary and an Our Father. Praying the rosary has brought me back from the brink of self-destruction.
I also know that though you should pray for your enemies and friends, you should stay away from people that are not living healthy lives and/or have demonstrated an ability to hurt others even if they haven't done anything to you. If they do it to them, THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU eventually. If they are living unhealthy lives, it will affect your own. We are made up of living energy and are affected by the energy surrounding other people.
Why am I saying all this? Very simple, a person close to me is doing things I find depraved in my new mental state. There is no self-control and recently told them so. Now I wonder if I did the right thing. I believe I did. SOMEONE had to tell them. Anyway. I said my piece. I know I am not perfect. I have done things I am not proud of, but I wasn't well. So, "Oh, well." Gotta move on. NEXT!

Born to Bling

That's the name of the next t-shirt I'm designing. It is going to have a pic of my stepson taken by his dad ina a suit and fedora with him prominently displaying his father's diamond encrusted rings. It is going to look so cool! I can't wait. I will also be doing a t-shirt for all the girls here in hialeah. I have to do something to make some extra cash. I hope these t-shirts sell like hotcakes. "Make them and they will buy." at least I hope that's the case. Here is the website again, www.cafepress.com/twistedtees2

eat da poo-poo like ice cream...

My friend Evy at work today told me about a viral youtube video called EAT DA POO POO. Apparently it depicts some misguided "educator" trying to explain the intricacies of homosexual sex practices. When I say misguided, I mean depraved. He actually went as far as to say that gay men will lick the poo poo from his partner's butt "like ice cream" during sex. Now, I know the sexual practices of gay men are not mainstream (insert penis in vagina = straight, insert penis in anus = gay) but I know few men that enjoy having shit in their mouths. It actually grosses most people out except for a small minority of Japanese porn aficionados that have made shit eating a business or so I have heard.
Anyway, I was aghast at the idea of anyone promoting this as fact. I was even more amused by how he described it, "eat da poo-poo like ice-cream." I found it so funny that I made a t-shirt for sale on cafe press, www.cafepress.com/TwistedTees2. Feel free to promote hilarity in America and the world and remember to always eat da poo-poo like ice cream. Bon Appetit!

"How to Leave Hialeah" Book Reaction

Obviously, I am from Hialeah. Hence, the moniker Hialeah Girl. As Miami, evolves, it is my belief that the different cities surrounding Miami proper will eventually become famous themselves, like Greenwich Village is independently famous from New York City proper, Brooklyn, Queens, etc...What I cannot stand, what I despise almost, is how all the best minds that were born and/or raised here seem to all just want to leave the first minute they can. I cannot remember a time when I was in an Honors class in High School or college and classmates were ticking off the day to leave to anywhere but here. And I ask why? I think this city is great; and like the slogan here goes (in Spanish of course), "Hialeah, la cuidad que progresa," "Hialeah, the city that progresses." This city has progressed, by leaps and bounds and continues to do so.
To get to the gist of where I am going with all this, I am a little upset at the commentary so far about the book, "How to Leave Hialeah" by Jennine Capo Crucet, a fellow Hialeah girl. Mind you, I have not read the book yet, I am dying to, but haven't so I can't comment on it. I can comment on all the downright condescending comments and perceptions people have made about Hialeah from reading this book. Finally, we are getting some press outside of horse racing circles and all people get out of it is that Hialeah is full of working class, pill popping, Cuban exiles whose children all want to get the hell out of Little Havana number two, Hialeah. You know, it IS true, a lot of working class people live here, but so do a lot of professionals. It IS true, a lot of the young ladies here pop pills and other drugs to go clubbing, but a lot of others don't and stay home com mami y papi. I know a lot of people who chose to stay and raise their families here. This city has changed so much and the quality of person who is raised here just gets better and better. It is my mission to show people the best of Hialeah, not the worst. I dream that one day all my fellow classmates who have fled from here will one day recognize the value of having been raised here and how much the city has progressed since they left. And my book will be titled, "How to LIVE in Hialeah, la cuidad que progressa.

FHA Hell

To Whom It May Concern: I am sick of writing To Whom It May Concern. I have written numerous letters already to account for answer verify so many things, conditions, on my file to get a FHA loan that my head and Microsoft Word program are spinning. It is so mentally and emotionally exhuasting to go through all this red tape. Everybody keeps telling me the same thing. That is is a lot harder and more time consuming the get a loan approved after the 2009 financial fiasco of the real estate bubble bursting. I am a little surprised that they haven't required DNA samples to verify our identities. What?! No blood samples to check for possible foreclosure genes? This is utterly exhuasting. The moment I think I am done with submitting paperwork, they hit me with one more request. My father said he would have given up by now. Not me. I need a backyard for my kids to roam in and for my husband to cook his famous pinchos. So bring it on! Well...at least be done and say yes dear lender whoever you are. I am grateful for the wonderful landlords I have, but it would be nice to be my own. To have a little piece of the human dream, mistress of my own castle.

Opportunities

So, I've been looking for a new career. I definitely want to go into business for myself and have been looking at different ideas. With my hubby, a bar/club makes sense or a promotion company. With my lil sis, a party paella company, my mom's idea is a coin laundry. Me, some sort of business I can do from home. I know I can get a loan of up to $50,000.00 from the SBA. I have to pay off my credit cards though. Whatever my mind attracts, I will work with it, and what I am attracting most is OPPORTUNITIES. Talk to you later. Hubby stealing the laptop again.

House Hunting Blues

My husband and I just recently, earnestly, began to house hunt. So far we have lost two houses to other bids and just yesterday, our financing. A word on financing, make sure you go to someone who knows what the hell they are doing number one, and don't take no for an answer if you have decent credit and money to put down for deposit. Somebody will say yes, even in this economy.
As far as the house hunting goes, if you see something you like, bid quickly, especially in Hialeah! Things go fast here. For some freaking reason, people, such as moi, want to live here and good houses go fast. I'm talking SAME DAY fast. So don't get attached to a house. Don't begin, like I do, to mentally begin a checklist of what you are going to do to the house to make it your own, the color, the additions, the color of the artistic concrete your going to lay down the minute you get your hands on your $8000 of stimulus money. That type of thing. I do it anyway, and boy does it sting when you lose the foundation of your piece of the American Dream. It sucks dude. Monday, is around the corner, I almost got my financing done, and I got three houses to pick from. Wish me luck. No es facil.