Born to Bling

That's the name of the next t-shirt I'm designing. It is going to have a pic of my stepson taken by his dad ina a suit and fedora with him prominently displaying his father's diamond encrusted rings. It is going to look so cool! I can't wait. I will also be doing a t-shirt for all the girls here in hialeah. I have to do something to make some extra cash. I hope these t-shirts sell like hotcakes. "Make them and they will buy." at least I hope that's the case. Here is the website again, www.cafepress.com/twistedtees2

eat da poo-poo like ice cream...

My friend Evy at work today told me about a viral youtube video called EAT DA POO POO. Apparently it depicts some misguided "educator" trying to explain the intricacies of homosexual sex practices. When I say misguided, I mean depraved. He actually went as far as to say that gay men will lick the poo poo from his partner's butt "like ice cream" during sex. Now, I know the sexual practices of gay men are not mainstream (insert penis in vagina = straight, insert penis in anus = gay) but I know few men that enjoy having shit in their mouths. It actually grosses most people out except for a small minority of Japanese porn aficionados that have made shit eating a business or so I have heard.
Anyway, I was aghast at the idea of anyone promoting this as fact. I was even more amused by how he described it, "eat da poo-poo like ice-cream." I found it so funny that I made a t-shirt for sale on cafe press, www.cafepress.com/TwistedTees2. Feel free to promote hilarity in America and the world and remember to always eat da poo-poo like ice cream. Bon Appetit!

"How to Leave Hialeah" Book Reaction

Obviously, I am from Hialeah. Hence, the moniker Hialeah Girl. As Miami, evolves, it is my belief that the different cities surrounding Miami proper will eventually become famous themselves, like Greenwich Village is independently famous from New York City proper, Brooklyn, Queens, etc...What I cannot stand, what I despise almost, is how all the best minds that were born and/or raised here seem to all just want to leave the first minute they can. I cannot remember a time when I was in an Honors class in High School or college and classmates were ticking off the day to leave to anywhere but here. And I ask why? I think this city is great; and like the slogan here goes (in Spanish of course), "Hialeah, la cuidad que progresa," "Hialeah, the city that progresses." This city has progressed, by leaps and bounds and continues to do so.
To get to the gist of where I am going with all this, I am a little upset at the commentary so far about the book, "How to Leave Hialeah" by Jennine Capo Crucet, a fellow Hialeah girl. Mind you, I have not read the book yet, I am dying to, but haven't so I can't comment on it. I can comment on all the downright condescending comments and perceptions people have made about Hialeah from reading this book. Finally, we are getting some press outside of horse racing circles and all people get out of it is that Hialeah is full of working class, pill popping, Cuban exiles whose children all want to get the hell out of Little Havana number two, Hialeah. You know, it IS true, a lot of working class people live here, but so do a lot of professionals. It IS true, a lot of the young ladies here pop pills and other drugs to go clubbing, but a lot of others don't and stay home com mami y papi. I know a lot of people who chose to stay and raise their families here. This city has changed so much and the quality of person who is raised here just gets better and better. It is my mission to show people the best of Hialeah, not the worst. I dream that one day all my fellow classmates who have fled from here will one day recognize the value of having been raised here and how much the city has progressed since they left. And my book will be titled, "How to LIVE in Hialeah, la cuidad que progressa.