I lost my business and now I am looking for work...life could be better and will get better soon. Now God...A Poem

I do not dwell in the past.
"Now" is too pressing to ignore;
It is more vibrant than anything else
in the universe.
It is my consciousness expressed,
as time-
is a factor in this dimension
but not in the one that comes after death.
The broken mirror is now.
God made us in his image
and then the mirror was shattered by Eve.
The broken image,
the image of God
scattered
in a thousand pieces;
each contanining,
reflecting dutifully,
God's face
through our own reflection.
Our image
is the illusion,
look within
and find truth.
Life is but a dream.

Failed Entrepenuer/New Beginnings.

Well people,
I opened a new business in January 2013. I will be closing shop in June of 2013. Six Months. That's it. I could blame the fact I opened after the holiday season, not before as planned. I can blame the fact that an important source of funding dried up, became non-existent due to circumstances beyond anyone's control.
I could blame myself for not squirreling away more money when I had it, but I won't. I have a knack for rushing into things. It felt right at the time, I thought I had God's backing/blessings, I still think I do. Everything happens for a reason.
When events happen in my life, I always try (at least now) to see what good came out of the experience.
I have almost read the entire Bible; the book upon which I have based my faith on, but never got around to reading. I met a lovely, young lady, who I helped mend her relationship with her mother and helped her seek a closer relationship with Jesus Christ. I also met, another wonderful lady, who helped me affirm my belief in Jesus Christ. I made kids smile with free balloons. I realized we are all the same and love a good deal on anything.
Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work..." That's the way I feel about this experience. The number one thing I have realized on my lifelong journey on trying to figure out what I want to do with myself is to see each step just like that; one more way that just doesn't work for me.
When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with traveling. I still am. I have not traveled like I would have wanted because of the debt I had. Well, now, the debt should disappear with the bankruptcy I have to declare now. Not exactly the way I had pictured being debt free (except for the house mortgage that is, gotta live somewhere.)
 In a way, it is a gift. I won't be making the same mistakes again.It is also an eyeopener, I am too much of a free spirit to be bound by a "regular job" or the responsibilities of being "the boss." The money has to come from something else. The money to be free.
You see, at the root, is the desire to be rich enough, that money is never an issue anymore in life. It would be just a tool, something to use as needed, which it is already anyway. But, the more you have, the better!
I won't give up on that dream, I keep on making it happen one way or another. The dream would be a hit song, or book, or being at the right place at the right time, the lotto, etc...
I got to wander, I can do it poor, but I'd rather do it
RICH!
*Peace in the Middle East*
Love,
Hialeah Girl Extraordinaire

What if I left Hialeah?

I am in the process of starting a new business. I originally wanted to start it in good old Hialeah, but the type of business I am to open, a party supply store, a small one, has too much competition here a.k.a. Party City. The company i am using to finance the project, also has made it quite clear that the per capita income of my beloved city is too low to support my project; especially with such stiff competition. This little knock in the head made me look at my hometown without the love goggles I usually have on for it. Like drinking wine and eating stinky cheese, Hialeah is an acquired taste. It has come a long way since my family first moved here instead of Kendall or Westchester, along with the rest of my snotty Colombian family when they came over in the 1980's. My meat and potatoes grandfather, patriarch of our branch of the family, led us here to live amongst the Cubans and their culture. I have never really lived anywhere else.
So, I began to look at my fair city, the one that on paper is so unsuitable for my enterprise. I tried to look past the numerous Starbucks that have shot up, the brand new Olive Garden and Longhorn Steakhouse and began to look at the people who go to these and the myriad Cuban cafeterias and Palacios De Los Jugos that dot the landscape within these few iconic square miles. And then I saw them, the people, amongst who I have lived for all this time, it seems for the first time. I saw the worn faces of the mothers tugging along their children for whom they work all those long hours at the factory for. I saw the car washers, dark from the sun, advertising bail bonds on their T-shirts while they vacuum your car, unable to get any other job because they have no papers or a rap sheet.  I saw the older cashier at Winn Dixie, about sixty, who gave me one coupon but not the other, one that probably gave me $5 off my next purchase, and whom I let have because she is old and still working as a cashier at Winn Dixie when she should be retired. She needs it more than me. I saw a lot of Dickies and blue work shirts smeared with grease, I saw a lot of jeans that were just too tight with a shirt to match. I saw a lot of pony tails and roots, and hoop earrings. Once in a while I would see a suit or a blouse and a pencil skirt, but that was usually in a bank or Victoria's Secret.
What I saw were working class, hard-working Americans who earn every dollar they make with blood sweat and tears to support their increasingly ungrateful kids. Kids, who had no idea what all their sacrifices in coming to this country and working these hard jobs have saved them from, war, poverty, a crushing class system or government. I saw pain and grit and occasionally joy and laughter from a raunchy joke. And I saw that I would have to leave Hialeah for my snotty party store, but I will stay here to live. Just to keep it real...
Goodnight.

Something in the air tonight...

I had a great Memorial Day weekend. I spent it mostly with my son, chillin in Amelia Earhart Park on Saturday, going to Muvico to watch MIB3 on Sunday, and today, our pool and a barbecue in our house in Hialeah. Life could not be better. It's usually on these days that I feel it, love. Love, God, Life Energy, I feel it most on these days. It can be so intense that I keep myself busy to not become overwhelmed by it and cry. Life is so beautiful because it is so fleeting, so precious. Whether we treat it as such, as human beings, it does not take away from the fact that it is so valuable. That we, as humans, fail to see its value is another thing entirely. To those of us that do see it, we can also feel it, the love that binds us and makes us so precious. Enjoy each moment, each breath each embrace with a loved one. Each one is unique, a miracle, something to be felt with the heart. Love.

Creating My Life.

Well folks, at 34 years old, I have been through a lot. I have made numerous 180 degree turns in thought and action. I have come to several conclusions about myself in the process.
1. I am a square peg in a round hole world. My viewpoints and motivations for action are very different than a lot of people. Many people therefore have a hard time understanding me.
2. I am definitely not an elitist. I root for the underdog, always.
3. I do not like monotony.
4. I love to travel.
5. I have a talent for writing and for crafts.
6. I definitely need to go into business for myself. I have the right personality to be my own boss.
7. I love following fashion.
I have written a novelette. It is only 100 pages long about a period in my life that only lasted four years. I dedicated my life to partying on South Beach and was a nihilist at point in time. I had no desire to care for my future self and as a result almost ruined my future possibilities for advancement in the "Straight World," as we called the normal humdrum life of most people.
So here I am, living the humdrum life; married with kids and a mortgage. I have a normal job, highly educated, Masters level and still feeling like something is missing. I still am not living at peak potential and that is going to take me taking my fate into my own hands. I have to create my life by my own rules. This square peg is not fitting right into the preconceptions of others of how things are supposed to be. So watch for me folks. Gigi Love is breaking out and creating her future.

Adele

I absolutely love Adele the singer. She has an incredible voice. I absolutely love all her songs. It definitely could have been the soundtrack to my life from 15 to 24. Her voice is hauntingly beautiful. I want to cry just listening to her music. I want to learn piano just to play all the parts since I cannot sing!

Who Am I?

You know, for the most part I have tried to live as authentic a life as possible. With the exception of love, I have lived by my will and rules. Who am I then? I still do not know exactly what it is I am meant to do on this Earth. I only pray everyday for guidance. As Steve Job said in that now famous commencement address to Stanford, "You will know it when You find it." Like love. I have begun to really examine myself after a lifetime of examining other people. I have been delving into myself, taking note when things peak my interest and what horrifies or excites me. Who am I? It is time for a rebirth. I have actually for the first time thought about getting a tattoo. A tattoo of a Phoenix, who was born and died in a blaze of fire. I feel a burn coming on. t2ul8r!